HOW TO BE MORE CONFIDENT

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Hi beautiful people,

You know that voice in your head? You know, the annoying one, telling you that you can’t do something. Dammit, that annoying little biotch never seems to shut up!

It’s completely normal to compare yourself to others and to feel unworthy or incapable of being something greater…

Being a confident woman in today’s world is HARD. Seriously, don’t kid yourself… it’s hard AF. Can we all agree?

Whether it’s scrolling through Instagram and seeing nothing but tan skin, thin thighs, perky boobs and of course, green juice- we as women can feel shitty. We feel like we constantly need to do MORE, MORE, MORE.

In the mix of scrolling through Instagram, keeping up your status with family and friends, and proving to yourself that you are worthy- we lose ourselves. We lose ourselves because we are always trying to BE instead of just BEING.

Do you know what I mean?

We are always trying to BE the best at our job, the best girlfriend, the best wife, the best friend, etc etc etc that we forget to just sit back, relax and accept who we are in the present moment.

And before you know it, life happens. We are always 100 steps in front of ourselves that we forget to slow down and be still.

Because we are constantly going, doing, and being- we lose sight of who we are. We lose sight of our purpose in this world. Therefore, we lack confidence.

We lack confidence because we are too busy in life to nurture our souls.

I STRUGGLE WITH BEING COMFORTABLE IN MY OWN SKIN

I’m not going to sit here and tell you the secret to feeling confident because the truth is, it’s an everyday struggle for me. I personally think that despite what women will say, we all struggle with confidence. We are human.

I’ve doubted myself my whole life. There has never been a time in my life where I can say that I never had any fear or doubt within myself. Yes, I’ve accomplished incredible things and I’m happy with who I am and who I’m becoming but there’s always a feeling in my stomach of “what if?” or “can I do this?” or “am I good enough?”

The truth is, we all struggle. We all have our moments of feeling on top of the world and then moments of feeling worthless. It happens to the best of us and guess what?! That’s life for ya.

Having confidence isn’t about having a brand new car, closet filled with designer shoes, or a million friends on speed dial- confidence is deeper than that.

Confidence is learned from a really young age. It’s something that is wired into who we are.

 

WHAT WE THINK DEFINES OUR CONFIDENCE

Now, I don’t mean the following thoughts:

* “When I get this brand new car I’ll be more confident”

* “When I drop a few pounds, I’ll be more confident”

* “When I get straight A’s, I’ll be more confident”

* “When I get 500 likes on a photo, I’ll be more confident”

* “When I have more money in my bank, I’ll be more confident”

Nope. Doesn’t work like that. None of those things make you more confident.

Yes, all of those things make us FEEL more confident. Why? Because for a split second, we allow ourselves to feel that way. We give ourselves permission to feel confident once we get those “things”.

You know the feeling? The feeling of going shopping when you’re having a shitty day. Once, we get home and try on all our new clothes and shoes- deep down inside we still feel like complete shit.

Why is this? Because we’ve achieved what we wanted to achieve BUT WE ARE STILL THINKING THE SAME THOUGHTS.

Get it? What we think defines our confidence! Not our actions!

In order to BE more confident, we need to THINK, BELIEVE AND FEEL that we are more confident.

In order to think more confidently, you need to learn. Get back to the basics and really dig deep as to why you are feeling a certain way.

Just in the past few months, I’ve felt a lot better about myself because I’ve stopped trying to numb that feeling and I’ve started listening to it. I’ve been doing so much reading, listening and watching. It’s helped me a ton!

There are TONS of amazing techniques that I do that have helped me and I think they will help you too.

 

TED TALKS

Tony Robbins – “Why We Do What We Do”

 

Amy Cuddy – “Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are”

 

Meaghan Ramsey – “Why Thinking You’re Ugly is Bad For You”

 

PODCASTS 

  1. The Lively Show
  2. Let it Out
  3. Dear Sugar Radio
  4.  Stuff Mom Never Told You
  5. Happier With Gretchen Rubin

 

BOOKS

  1. You Are a Badass by Jen Sencero
  2. The Badass Life by Christmas Abbott
  3. Get Over Your Damn Self by Romi Neustadt
  4. Girl Code by Cara Leyba
  5. Confidence Code by Katty Kay

 

EVERY DAY

  1. Volunteer
  2. Exercise
  3. Meditation 
  4. Reading 
  5. Journaling 

I don’t have all of the answers and I’m not going to sit here and tell you to “dress better” or “smile more” to be more confident. All of that is temporary bullshit.

But, I am going to sit here and tell you that learning and educating yourself is going to make the world of difference.

Remember: Knowledge is power.

Grab a glass of Pinot Gri, sit back and read!

Cheers to not being perfect! Besides, that shit’s exhausting.

xx

2 Comments

  1. Alanna
    July 18, 2017 / 7:53 pm

    For me confidence comes from within. Knowing that you have everything you need and that anything you need is already there you just need to know how to access it. Trust yourself.
    Be. Do. Have. In that sequence is very magical.
    Once a person is able to trust in themselves that they create their journey then that alone will yield an amazing level of confidence that can’t easily be altered by any one person or materialistic item. confidence can be shaken, but if you are a self-aware, courageous, insightful woman it can’t ever be taken.

  2. July 19, 2017 / 7:52 am

    What we think is in our hand… than why thing negative and not positive… a well written post… Thanks for sharing

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