“I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.” –William Allen White
I wanted to talk about fear today.
It has been coming up a lot in my life lately in a variety of different messages.
This past Wednesday and today my hot vinyasa yoga instructor read several fear sutras. They really spoke to me.
At one point she said that we fear not only failing but fear success. We fear success because of the fear of “not being good enough.” This spoke to me because sometimes we don’t live to our full potential because we fear being successful. Once we reach a certain level of success, then what? What will people think? How will I maintain this level of success? What happens if I’m not good enough? What happens if I fail?
Often times we over think the success so much that we end up not even striving for it and just staying “comfortable”
We are our own worst enemy.
I’m going to talk about fear today as well as anxiety. They go hand in hand.
I’ve had anxiety since I was a child. I remember feeling so worried and not in control at such a young age.
Here are a few things that help me conquer my fear.
1. Feel the fear and do it anyway.
Allow the sensations of fear to live in your body. Don’t block it out or ignore it. Feel it. Let it flow throughout your body.
The first step to conquering fear is accepting and acknowledging it.
I think back to today. I tried an intermediate/advanced hot vinyasa class. I fell in love with the instructor at a previous class, so I figured I’d give this one a try.
OF COURSE, (because this how the universe works) I walked into a full class. Literally, people from wall to wall. I began to panic. My heart was racing a million miles a second and I wanted to walk out…actually run out the door. But I didn’t. I stopped and acknowledged my fear of not only the class but the worry of not having enough room or disturbing someone to make room, not to mention it was a mere 100 degrees.
But once I accepted “Hey this all new to me and I’m scared/nervous/unsure”, it all became a little bit more bearable.
Taking the time to let fear flow through your veins without trying to minimize it can be practiced with any situation in your life where anxiety/fear is present. Maybe you are starting a new job? Maybe you quit your job? Maybe you just got out of an unhealthy relationship? Our initial reaction is to avoid these situations and emotions. It is so much easier to avoid important lessons in our life because we are scared.
But if we start to acknowledge when fear is present and to let it be what it is, we can do whatever scares us anyway. What does that mean? That means, we can do anything in the world we desire, because fear isn’t stopping us anymore.
2. Other people feel this too.
When we are feeling scared or anxious, we isolate ourselves. Here I was, trying to make my way through a hot class full of experienced yogi’s balancing on one foot, without panicking, especially because everyone around me seemed so peaceful and at ease.
But, I realize that whatever fear makes us feel whether that be sad, jealous, hopelessness, anger, distrust, anxiousness… the list goes-other people feel too.
We aren’t the only ones on this planet with emotions, okay?
Next time your heart is racing a million miles a minute, you have that lump in your throat you cant swallow, and the room starts spinning with fear- remember you are NOT ALONE. You are never alone. Other people feel the same way as you do.
When you turn fear into compassion and empathy, instead of focusing on your own struggles- magical things happen. Start shifting your attention to people who feel this pain, too. Think about why you are scared, worried, anxious? And look around you- why are others feeling this way? Send them love and empathy and I promise your fear and worry will be minimized.
I used this mantra when I was volunteering with the homeless last week. I was SO NERVOUS. Mostly nervous because I had no idea what to expect. I’m sure you’ve noticed, but I am the queen of overthinking and boy did I overthink this entire volunteer process.
Going off track for a sec–
Last Friday, I volunteered with an organization who helps the homeless. They partner with various services such as shelters, dentist, ophthalmologist, doctors, schools, etc. They provide all of the services a human would need to survive. The volunteers were partnered with someone who is currently out of a home. Our job was to be a welcoming friend and guide them to where they needed to go throughout the day.
My anxiety leading up to the second I was partnered with someone was at an all time high. But I caught myself. I thought to myself, yes I am scared, yes I am nervous, yes I don’t know what to expect. But just as I accepted why I had fear, I thought about the people I was there to help. I thought about the people who walked miles to this place in the rain. I thought about the people who walked here in hopes of getting their first haircut, glasses, teeth cleaning, or even full belly in MONTHS maybe YEARS. Imagine how anxious THEY were? Just when I started to focus on other people and how they may be feeling, the reason I was worrying began to vanish.
3. Commit to love.
If you have anxiety, I’m sure you know, the emotion it brings to your body and mind is extremely powerful. There is nothing like it. But, the only thing more powerful than ALL of the fear or anxiety in the entire universe is love.
I remind myself every single day to love. If you are focused on fear and worry, you can’t love yourself. If you can’t love yourself when in fear you most certainly can’t love others.
Sometimes, I find myself so deep into worry that I don’t even notice what is going on around me.
When you commit to loving yourself and others, it means being present. I remeber times at dinner, where I was so anxious and worried, thinking about was going to happen next, or tomorrow at work, or about my paper due the next evening- that I completely checked out from the person I loved right in front of me. Be present. The future is not yet written. The future is written by the moments that occur in every single second of our day. Be present.
If we spend our energy loving ourself and each other, we will conquer fear. Fill your heart, body and mind with love and there will not be enough room for fear.
4. This too shall pass.
We have all heard this phrase a million times but it’s still extremely powerful especially in relation to fear and anxiety.
Anxiety has a way of stopping the clock. When we are anxious it feels like it will last forever.
Remind yourself that this too shall pass, no matter how awful and scary the moment may be, just breathe.
Because everything passes with time, you can handle the fear and worry while it’s present.
Anxiety is not easy to deal with, in fact it may be one of the hardest obstacles in my life and possibly yours. But we have the power to shift our thoughts from fear to love.
xxx
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