Do More Than Just Exist

“Sometimes you have to do what’s best for you and your life, not what’s best for everyone else.”

We all exist. But do we all really live?

1.  You are not obligated to live up to everyone’s expectations. Life doesn’t always give us what we expect and we don’t always give others what they expect- but that’s ok. Don’t do things because you feel like you have to. Do things because you care. Do things because you know it’s the right thing to do. Not because people expect you to do it. My biggest pet peeve is when I hold the door for someone and they walk right past me like I wasn’t even there. Why? because people expect others to hold the door for them. No one has to. But people like me hold the door not because its expected- but its simply the right and polite thing to do.

2.  Some of life’s greatest experiences are unexpected. Unexpected is often better than expected. Maybe your whole life your parents planted in your head that college was the answer to all. For a while you believed it was the answer too. But you didn’t want to live with your head in a textbook anymore- so you decided to work fulltime and not take the path your friends took. But in the end everything worked out, you got a great job, settled down, and you’re parents were still very proud with your success. Long story short, Its perfectly ok if it didn’t go as planned and hey, I’m sure it’s a better story tell.

3.   Put on your big girl panties. The biggest difficulty in my life right now. I’m stuck between wanting my mommy to baby me and take care of me. But also ready to pack up my things, move to a new city where no one knows my name, and flip the page to the next chapter in my life. I’m starting to learn that sometimes being alone is better. And that being alone is ok. No one is holding you back or stopping you from growing. The only person that can stop you from growing is your own self. No one else has that power. I’m learning it the hard way- but not everyone that was there at the beginning of your journey will be there at the end. But that’s a shame, because they are missing out.

4.   No one knows you better than you know yourself. So what I’ve come to realize- how you seem to others vs. how you actually are; is nowhere even close. They may think and probably do think that they’ve got you all figured out, right? But the truth is- they are only holding a tiny piece to the puzzle. The fact that the world doesn’t know “the truth” about you- is totally ok. They don’t deserve to know it. So, if someone has an opinion about you, that’s up to them to think about. Leave it alone and leave it to them to worry about- cause guess what?! You know who you are and what’s best for you. No one else.

5. “Be realistic” I hear those words ALL the time. Yes, being realistic is important. But after awhile it will beat you down and break you. When you hear those tiny, harmless words- close your ears. Block it all out. Trust me, I’ve had the dream of becoming huge in the fashion world one day while I live the life in New York City since I was 5. Lol I’ve heard “be realistic” a couple times too many. But hey, at the end of the day it’s my life. Yes, it may sound crazy or a little out there but it’s possible. No dream is too big or too small, whatever it may be. So, strive for your dream and do what makes you feel alive.

6.   Happiness is living life your own way. The moment you stop living up to someone else’s expectations is when you start living. I promise you- the second you do; you will look at life differently. The day you make your focus on doing and achieving things that are truly important to you- is the day you will be able to take a deep breath because from that day on you will be living life the happiest you can. It will be the day you can finally live the life you want and deserve. If painting every morning is something you enjoy but you have to get the kids to school or you have to go to school yourself? Wake up earlier! Now I’ll bet you that you will look forward to every morning from that day on. If packing up your things and moving to a new town is your dream; Do it. Check whatever off your list it may be. No one is stopping you.

7.  Speak up even if your voice shakes. Set aside for five minutes what others may think. Let go of your fears and the potential consequences of doing so. Speak up. Pour your heart out. Say how you feel. Some people wont even be offended or annoyed that you are stating how you feel. But the people that do get upset- well; they are upset because they feel they have less power over you.

8.  The haters. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “if you’ve got haters, you must be doing something right.” Surprisingly this is true: Well for most of the time. If you are doing something clearly wrong, YES people will talk. That’s what people do. But the other percentage of people are simply just judging you because the truth you know contradicts the lies they live. End of story. Don’t worry about them, ever.

9.  Uniqueness if priceless. Constantly needing the approval of others means only one thing. You are worried that others will form negative judgment about you- and that scares the shit out of you. You are so concerned about what someone may or may not think about you. Dumb. If you are lucky enough to have a quality that allows you to be different from others- Embrace it. Love it. Cherish it. And own it. Don’t be ashamed and don’t ever change. People like you are what makes this world unique- but most importantly beautiful. It takes a lot of courage to stand-alone but its so worth it.  

10.  Don’t forget about YOU out there. The relationship you have with yourself is the closest and most important relationship you will have in this life. So when you’re out there and you have a million things going on at once- don’t forget about you. When its times are tough and it feels like the world is coming to an end; Don’t be too hard on yourself either. But most importantly that I’ve learned so far in this life: “If you don’t take good care of yourself than you cant take good care of others; which is why taking care of yourself is the best most selfish thing you can do.”


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